Hi!!! Hello! Boy, it feels so great saying hi to you again! The last time we spoke I was almost 42 weeks pregnant and trying to scrap the barrel of sexual drive to get things moving.
Well, she’s out and Andy would be sad to tell you that the sex had nothing to do with it. In the end, the sex would never have been able to help. That’s right, the recipe and the walking, nothing made that little girl budge.
I went into the doctor the day before I was supposed to be induced and was sure that I was dilated! I was 100 percent sure because I had been having contractions, albeit mild ones for two days. I was going to have my VBAC! I was going to go in there and she was going to take one look at my cervix and say,
“My God! This is the most perfectly dilated cervix I’ve ever seen! Let’s take pictures of it and send it to every med student that we know so that they can see the perfect picture of what a perfect cervix looks like!”
But instead of taking out her camera, my OB/GYN took out a form and a grim expression. The ultrasound showed that Wren was still in completely the wrong position and that “perfect” cervix? Yup, not dilated in the slightest.
You know that thing that doctors do when they don’t want to tell you what to do, but they want to tell you what to do. That long pause and shoe glance they always do. They use phrases like,
“My concern is…” and “If you had your heart truly set on this…” and “I don’t want to completely ruin your dream…” Well, those were all coming out and being thrown at my feet. The VBAC was saddling its horse and taking a long ride off into the sunset.
“My concern is” see? There’s one! “that your previous c-section scar will open before your cervix does. Your baby is not in an ideal position” BANG, one nail in the coffin. “You’ve had a previous c-section.” BANG, another one. “You’re not dilated in the slightest.” BANG! BANG! BANG! Seal that VBAC casket up and stick that sucker in the ground.
My VBAC dream was over and simply the dream of seeing my daughter come into this world safe and with a living mother became more prominent. I didn’t even give it a second thought and signed the c-section consent form.
So she came out ejector seat style, just the way Henry did. But, unlike Henry, I got to do skin to skin with her right there in the O.R.! I got to nurse right there in the O.R. and right there in the O.R., I fell head over heals for this new member of our family. It was incredible and something that still brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. (More about this experience in an upcoming BurlingtonVTMomsBlog Post so keep your eyes peeled)
After four days in the hospital, during the c-section they nicked my bladder while trying to get through some scar tissue and so I left being able to pee like a man into a leg catheter for ten days. Not as much fun as guys make it out to be, we came home.
Mom Honest Moment (Haven’t had one in a while): The newborn phase… not my favorite phase of the process. Six months on, heck even three, I’m gang busters, but those first couple of months always seem to slap me across the face like cold halibut. I always get my butt handed to me on a silver platter. That first night home and then all the ins and outs about finding out who this new little person is, so tough for me. But I can tell you this right now, I would gladly take all of this over spending one more day being pregnant.
I love the snuggling though. My two and a half year old lets me snuggle with him some times… when he’s sick.
So right now, what’s new with me? A lot. I’m walking around my apartment allowing my brain to split in half. I’m a regular Phineas Gage over here. Can I breast feed and read Hungry Caterpillar for the tenth time at the SAME time successfully? Will the guilt over sharing my attention with both kids ever subside? Will I ever have time to take a shower again? Well, reader, you’ll just have to keep reading to find out and I’ll just have to keep living this new life for me to find out too.