It’s 6:15 in the morning as I’m writing this blog and right now I feel that pit in my stomach that tells me I really don’t want to face this day. No, I’m not some all knowing seer who gets “senses” that a day is going to be a challenge, I know for sure today will be one.
Today we start the task of potty training our two year old daughter.
This is it folks, after this kid is doing her business on the toilet, this is the last kid I’m going to have to chase around with a bottle of spray cleanser and a towel.
I remember when we were going through this with my son. My daughter was already born. I looked at her and all I could think of was, some day I’m going to have to go through this horror all over again.
Here we go, ratcheting it up again. It’s funny to think that in the near future I won’t be changing a single diaper during my day. When my son was potty trained, it just meant that I was only changing ONE diaper. Now, after the dust… or pee has cleared here, there won’t be any… until Andy gets really old.
Some people grieve over their children getting to that next level. I have with school, big boy beds and even after we moved my daughter out of her high chair. But for some reason, I don’t ever grieve them being out of diapers. This is something I can’t wait for their independence on.
I’ll let you in on a secret. There are days I fantasize about having two kids. Not babies or toddlers, KIDS. I dream of us all on camping trips or going to the movies. I dream of us all being able to talk about our feelings toward one another instead of simply doling out time outs. I dream of watching them engage with something they really love and meeting new friends who love the same thing. And yes, I dream of us playing a game together as a family and both of my kids being able to say,
“Hang on a second, I have to pee. Pause the game.”
This is a huge step for our family in realizing those dreams. But every step towards freedom involves some work. I’m willing to dig deep today and see if we’re ready to being heading down the KIDS path.
This isn’t the last journey. We still have a pacifier to get rid of during sleep and a crib. But I’m fine keeping those for a bit. I can’t loose all of my sanity in one foul swoop, it has to slowly drain out of me like my daughter’s pee through cheesecloth.
So, if you need me this week, I’ll be setting timers, chasing my daughter around with a towel and dreaming.
Wish me luck.